My Nana used to have a saying (as all Nana's do): little kids, little problems...big kids, big problems.
The reasoning is, when your children are small, you have the problems associated with very young children. But as your children age, their potential problems increase exponentially. No one has ever worried about a 2-year-old breaking curfew or falling in with a bad crowd. Ever.
And as we age, the problems change.
Car payments, student loans, mortgages, job security. Big problems for big-time, grown-ups.
And while I love my Nana, I think the problems stay the same, just on a bigger scale.
Will I have enough allowance (money) for what I want to do?
Will they like me?
What will I do when I grow up?
What is my place in the world?
Sometimes we get answers, sometimes we get more questions.
The frustrating thing, though, is the answer my Nana used to give me every now and again... after I asked an impossible question:
The answer is...you don't always get an answer. But keep asking, and maybe you'll get one someday.
Sometimes it feels like you're the only one asking the impossible questions. You're not. But it can feel like the whole world is set up for perfection. And you are the only human in a world of beautiful androids. You're not.
There is courage in saying life isn't perfect, neither am I, but I'm going to move my right foot forward. And then my left. And I'll keep walking, and keep talking and keep asking questions.
What happens next? I don't know, but I'll find out if I keep moving forward. And so will you.
photo of North West: Harpers Bazaar // photo of my grandmother is my own